Things men should know about women.

Women are a mystery. They are kinda like The prize at the bottom of the cracker jack box, you have no idea what your going to get. There are very few things that we know about them. Men everywhere have made a safe behind Mount Rushmore and in it we have put all the information we know about women. There are 5 pieces of paper. Here are their contents. (Don't tell anybody that I showed you this I could get kicked out of the club)

1. Women don't like it when we leave the toilet seat up.

This is serious buisiness. Some the greatest mysteries about women are what they do in the bathroom. All of those odd nail devices, makeup, cotton balls, etc. But one thing we know for sure. Having that toilet seat down can be the difference between a good day and a bad day. Dont mess with it.

2. Once a month you should always get flowers.
From the ages of about 12 to 50 women go though a rollercoaster ride every month. Once you are dating or married you get to ride the roller coaster as well. Right when the roller coaster goes down the biggest dip be prepared to give her those flowers.

3. Women cannot survive on only one pair of shoes.
Labratory tests were conducted where women were given any number of clothes but only one pair of shoes and only one out of the 2,500 tested made it out of the room. Some scientists have theorized that a pair of shoes that she wants and a boquet of flowers can be the answer to end all arguments.

4. Burping and farting around women is not a good idea.
Around men if you can burp and fart the loudest you earn a badge of honor. Around women burping and farting the loudest will get you a badge of shame. Being able to shatter windows with a single burp is something that I am proud of but my wife doesnt think is so great. Save your biggest burps for hanging out with the guys. Or at least when your away from the windows.

5. They are always right.
This one is really quite odd, just when you think you've won, you have actually lost. No matter what you do or what you say. Any time that you think you may have won she is just letting you believe that you won. Its something they do to be nice. Actually the only reason they seperate men and women at the Olympics is so that we actually stand a change at the events because otherwise would never win another event.

Although we as men have made very little progress there is hope in the future that a sixth piece of knowledge will be found. It is hard to discover more since we are so busy blowing up stuff and racing each other at every stop light but time races on. Who knows what the future will bring.

I could put up a list of things that I know about my wife but this blog in not the place for that. I have learned alot in the little time that I have been married to my wife. I love that I learn new things about her every day. In fact that was one of the reasons that I married her. I look forward to learning more about her every day.